The 20 Worst Players at LoL S5 Worlds

I saw this thread on Reddit the other day about how the lolesports top 20 ranking was an absolute joke, which made me feel rather sad because I thought it was rather reasonable. I mean, it would be rather disheartening to see 20 Korean/Chinese players in the Top 20 with maybe an appearance by Huni or Yellowstar. I think it's completely valid to hype up the western players a bit by putting players that are household names (at least to people who watch LCS) in Western LoL such as Aphromoo or Bjergsen on the list. Thinking that Aphromoo > Piccaboo, that's a completely different story.

However, that (and another Reddit post) got me thinking - if the BEST players list was absolute trash, what about a WORST players list? I mean, it's horrible, it's pretentious, and it's completely judgmental, but it WOULD be kind of fun to make one. It's also the only way I can think of for more Western players to make a "top players of worlds" list. So, without further ado, let's count down the 20 worst players to make it to worlds this year.

This list does not go in any particular order. I don't want to be rude (although I guess I'm already being rude enough by making this list in the first place, so I don't know why I'd bother)

20. All of BKT

Great. I'm sure that BKT is probably a good team in their region, but the truth is, their region (the GPL in case you're wondering) is so developmentally behind that there just isn't much talent available. And even if the next Faker just happened to be playing in Garena, the infrastructure there just isn't at the level needed to nurture and develop a talent to become the next superstar. I'll be honest here, I don't even know who's on this team. I haven't watched a single game of theirs this entire split. But just by being a Wildcard team, I can make the inference that their players are probably not on the level of teams like SKT, EDG or even H2K (because they're all in the same group!)

14. All of paiN

Same deal with paiN as with BKT. I honestly think that Granted, I am of the opinion that paiN is actually a pretty good team and could potentially upset some mid-to-bottom LCS teams in a Best of 5 (and potentially take a game off of the Flash Wolves), but their players just don't seem to be at the caliber that worlds requires them to be at. Let's be real here, as talented as brTT and Kami might be, I just don't think they can hold up to players like Kur0, Pobelter, Doublelift, Pray and even NL. They're good, but not good enough for worlds, is what I'm trying to say here. 

9. Loulex

This is probably going to become a recurring theme. Loulex is good, but not really at the level of the rest of his teammates. An argument can be made for every single H2k member to be a top 3 player at their position in EU - Odoamne, Huni, Cabochard - Ryu, Febiven, Nukeduck - Hjarnan, Rekkles, Niels - Mithy, Yellowstar, KaSing - but I really can't make the argument for Loulex. Is he decidedly better than players like Fr3deric and Airwaks? For sure. But is he better than the upper echelons of EU junglers, such as Jankos, Amazing, Svenskeren or ReignOver? Not at all. His smiting skills rival those of Saintvicious, his Lee Sin play suffers from far too much over aggression, and his vision control is lackluster to say the best. 

Update: made some good plays against SKT but revealed his final form against EDG - that is, to say, he fucking sucked. 

8. Balls

Hurr durr Diamond 2 worrying trend for Cloud 9 now let's get the memes out of the way. I honestly don't think Balls is the same player that he was back in C9. I watched pretty much every single game of the NA LCS this split, and I can almost never remember a game where Balls carried his team. It was always Sneaky, Incarnati0n, or the enemy team throwing that led to a Cloud 9 victory. Granted, he had some pretty good showings near the end of the split on Fizz and ... um, wait... um... his Maokai was ok I guess. Let's go back to the basics here. He's good, but not good enough to avoid being dumpstered by Huni, Zz1tai, Ziv or Jatt. 

7. Hai 

But he's the legendary shotcaller for Cloud 9 how could he be on a worst players list?! Well, let's just say his mechanics are a little bit, well, lackluster. Role-swapping from mid to jungle didn't help either. His jungle sense is just a little bit... off, and he seems to resort to non-meta picks quite frequently in an attempt to almost "cheese" the enemy (see: Kha'Zix, Shyvana). Do I think he's a good jungler (here we go again)? Yes! He held his own against Move, IWDominate and Rush, who is widely considered to be the best jungler in NA. Do I think that he can hold his own against KaKAO and ReignOver? Hopefully, but I don't think so. I swear, if Hai makes the lolesports top 20 list, I'm going to quit playing League forever.

6. LemonNation

Three members of C9 are on this list, which kind of shows you how mechanically weak their team really is. In my opinion, C9 got to worlds mostly on the back of extreme mental fortitude, late game shotcalling, decisiveness, and having the best dank memes along their storyline (excluding CLG, you can never outmeme CLG). Lemon was one of the players that really helped C9 in their pick-ban phase, but with the introduction of coaches in S5, the need for an in-game pick-ban expert has diminished, as thus, Lemon's role in C9 too. His mechanics as a support aren't the greatest, and like Balls and Hai, has fallen off from when he was the best in NA back in S3. His Karma support is also quite the worrying trend for C9. 

5. Xmithie

Now Xmithie isn't actually a bad player (here we go again). Other than a few missed Xmithie - sorry, Sejuani ults during the Spring Split playoffs, he's actually a pretty good jungler for CLG - a team that has carry potential in all three lanes. He's not the kind of jungler to make the flashiest of plays like Rush, nor the type to sit back and be invisible, like certain other NA junglers on other teams (not mentioning names here). He ganks enough to provide pressure for the rest of the team, stays alive well enough to avoid getting caught, and generally plays pretty average. So why is he on a "worst players" list? Because almost every other jungler at worlds is better (excluding certain obvious exceptions, such as other NA junglers that will not be mentioned here) - can Xmithie really stand up to Bengi or KaKao? 

4. Dyrus

Since I wrote the rest of this "article" before the group stage, I didn't know how well the other players would do. Turned out Hai, LemonNation and the rest of C9 embarrassed AHQ 4v5, as I'm pretty sure AHQ's jungler Mountain disconnected after the first gank on Veigar. Xmithie landed a game-winning cocoon on Kkramer of the Flash Wolves in CLG's inaugural international game of Season 5. Loulex made some alright-kinda-decent plays against SKT on Gragas but then proceeded to suck ass against EDG. Now we get to Dyrus. The only frame of reference I have of him is TSM's match against KTR. I don't think it's legal to reference that here. Let's just say that Ssumday is my new favourite top laner to watch, and not even Bjergsen solo-killing Nagne in lane could win TSM that game. Actually, speaking of TSM, let's move on to the #3 player on this list, which is...

3. WildTurtle 

Some players lose their skill after a few seasons of playing - like legendary support player Madlife or S4 finalist inSec. Some players, such as Flame, are known as gods during one period and mediocre during other period.s Then there's WildTurtle, who's skill level dropped off a cliff from S5 Spring Split to S5 Summer. I swear, back in Spring Split his Kalista and Sivir were really quite scary champions, and he regularly carried games for TSM. Then Huni picked Cassiopeia top and since that fateful game, Turtle's play has just not been the same. His once-actually-pretty-good teamfight positioning completely evaporated over the course of one tournament, while his already-weak laning phase became painfully obvious during the course of the Summer Split. If I had to pick out one player that was most responsible for TSM's loss today vs KTR, it would probably be... yeah, Dyrus. Turtle comes in a close second though. No offense

2. Santorin

I could write something about Santorin, or I could just post this image here. 

1. Misc

Now that might seem a bit strange - after all, there isn't actually a player at worlds called "Misc." But I didn't want to put anyone else here, so here's a few honorable mentions that I feel are too strong for this list but too weak to be actually that good. 

     > xPeke - his play in the Summer Split finals was really not up to par. Here's hoping that he gets the legendary "worlds buff" that I've heard so much about. 

     > Odoamne - wasn't this guy in contention for best top laner in EU? What happened? His play, like Turtle, seems to have fallen off of a cliff. 

     > Kkramer - didn't NL have to sub for this guy? From what I've seen, FW with NL > FW with Kkramer. No offense. 

     > Steak - predicted by a lot of analysts to suck. So far he's proven them wrong. He's on this list purely because of the analysts, from what I've seen he's pretty good. 

      > Kid - oh no a Chinese player is on this list oh no, but let's be real here he's not very good, iG is at worlds mainly because of KaKao and Rookie

     > TBQ - for a team that wants to be the best in the world, with potentially the second best mid laner in the world, the best ADC in the world and the best support in China at least, he seems really out of place. He is to LGD what Loulex is to H2k. That's not a compliment. 

     > Kitties - marginally better than Kid 

     > Mountain - please don't ever pick rengar ever again

tl;dr eu > na 

LCS Playoffs

I honestly haven't been this hyped for LCS playoffs since, well, ever. With the exception of the obviously-Fnatic favored game against UOL, every single match this weekend has the potential to go to 5 games. And I am hyped. As. Fuck. So many questions will be answered this weekend. Will CLG choke? Will TSM actually play well and not let Quas and Piglet get fed off of their significantly weaker lane counterparts? Is H2k capable of taking down the retirement home of the EU LCS? All this and more will be answered...

... I'm not making the John Cena joke.

Here are my predictions:

Origen vs H2k
I want to believe in H2k so badly - they're my favorite EU team because rooting for Fnatic gets boring after a while. They have everything that they could need to take down Origen, but I don't know which H2k will show up. The one that was dominating the first half of summer split, or the one that lost to Copenhagen Wolves. The mother fucking Copenhagen Wolves. How did that even happen. In the top lane, I think that Odoamne and sOAZ are pretty well matched up against each other - both can either play tanky, supporty, boring champions or can play carry champs a-la-Rumble. xPeke vs Ryu should be fun to watch, supposing xPeke doesn't go full "Korean-midlaners-are-so-ez-dude" mode. Hjarnan + kaSing match up with Niels + Mithy pretty well too, this lane is one that would most likely go even. The biggest disparity is probably in the jungle, where everyone thinks that Loulex is trash tier and Amazing will dump all over him. According to Reddit, Loulex is "trash" and the "reason why H2k has been tilting lately." Both teams have the potential to take this series, but I say that H2k takes it 3-2 and Mithy gets banned for flaming shortly afterwards.

CLG vs TiP
I gave all my faith to CLG, so they better perform this playoffs. Heck, I even bought the icon because. well, I have all my faith in CLG that they will finally prevail and win a playoff series. However, if there is one team that I can see beating them, it would be probably either TL or TSM, but TiP would be a close second. Impact is the one top laner that gives Zion actual trouble in lane (honestly, Impact and Zion are probably the best and second best tops in the region), and Rush is the kind of jungler that would completely fuck Xmithie up. Mid and bottom are both CLG-favored - I am of the opinion that Pobelter is actually a pretty good mid, and almost certainly an improvement over the "fresh-out-of-Challenger-mid-then-support-then-mid-again-Azir-one-trick-pony" Gate. In a similar vein, the Rush Hour bot lane is most likely going to be a larger factor than the measuring stick of mediocrity that is the TiP bot lane. In my opinion, this series will hinge on whether Pobelter and Doublelift can acquire large enough advantages to be able to carry Xmithie to victory. I say CLG takes it, 3-2, and Riot fines Rush for being "BM" for saying "NA jungler all trash."

Fnatic vs UOL
if uol takes this series i will donate my firstborn child to powerofevil. ez 3-0 for fnatic, h0r0 goes on the analyst desk for the grand finals because his english improved during his tenure on uol

TL vs TSM
Oh yes, the good-old "Bjergsen and four wardbots" against TL, the one team in NA that I can safely say have three actual threats on their team, along with a strong jungler and a passable support. I honestly think that TL has an advantage in almost every lane, as well as the jungle. I say "almost" because Fenix can at best go even with Bjergsen, and at worst will most likely get absolutely dumpstered, cry about it and then go back to Korea to reflect on his life decisions. But outside of mid, all other positions have a significant advantage. I'm not saying Dyrus is irrelevant, but honestly, Quas at his best > Dyrus normally. However, if the "I-just-solokilled-Ackerman-on-Mundo" Dyrus shows up instead of the "I-can-play-Sion-and-Maokai-pretty-well" Dyrus, TSM have a fighting chance in the top lane. Bot lane is a completely different story. Piglet, the former ADC of SKT, S3 worlds champions, will almost certainly completely fuck WildTurtle up to the point that Keith "Yuri "Le Toucan" Jew" McBrief will have to sub for him during Games 3 & 4. As well, IWDominate is one of the two NA junglers who knows what "early game pressure" is, and the other jungler is not Santorin (it's Rush, lol). In fact, Santorin is known for his impeccable cosplay as Evelynn, because he's pretty much invisible during the early game. I say TL takes this 3-1 over TSM, and WildTurtle gets benched again in favor of a tropical bird.

tl;dr santorin's like: "oh don't you dare look back, just keep your wards on me, i say i'm going bot, bjerg says "shut up and gank for me," guess midlane is my destiny, shut up and gank for me"

Eminem - Rap God PARODY
A Fnatic-Themed Parody
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbGs_qK2PQA
(H2K's actually my favourite team so no hate please) 

I'm beginning to feel like a League God (League God)
All the fans call us the FNC Gods (C-Gods)
Now who thinks their skills are good enough to box god (box god)
They say we play like EDG so call us CN Gods (N-Gods)
But for us to play like Deft must have him on our team
We got a Rekless in our back pocket
Huni'll go off in that top socket
Got a flawless with just no losses
Runnin' EU LCS since forever
Ever since sOAZ was in that top lane
With Cyanide ganking in his (jungle)
Yellowstar's a legend, just as honest
And will ruin your bot lane like all hell
Rekless? Rek 'em all with
This flashity, flash-Q-W-Ult-BorK-E
You don't want to get into a 1v1 with the "European Deft"
At his best, never distressed, never suppressed zest, bot test, faced EL stress
And at the exact same time we attempt these mechanical stunts while I'm performing that
We'll still be able
To mother-fucking out-rotate you
And break your turret over your back and crack it right in half
Only realized it was ironic FNC was in first after the fact
How could they not win? They're a constant
Feel their wrath of attack
EU LCS is having a rough time, period
Here's a "patch note" pack
They're actually disastrously bad
For the fans while we're frantically constructing this Fnatic-piece yeah
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Cause I'm beginning to feel like a League God (League God)
All the fan-girls from the front to the back nod (back nod)
Now who thinks Huni might be the best top (best top)
Let me show you beating Odoamne ain't that hard (that hard)
Everybody want the key and the secret to EU LCS like I have got
Well to be truthful the blueprint's simply talent and exuberance
Everybody loves to root for the "students"
Hit Berlin like an airstrike and did nothing but take LCS by storm since
sOAZ gets taken to third by my Gnar play
'Cause I use him as a monster to track my prey
Now Huni leads a lane full of "newbies"
Feb? He's a product of Trashy, Odoamne, Hjarnan and, H 2 K, coL hey pr0lly, Loulex, kaSing,
Thank you, they got Feb inspired enough to one day grow up
Blow up and be in a position
To solo-kill Faker and take him
To a mother-fucking best-of-best best of five even though he choked and his bot lost right at the final game
Only best of five Steeelback's ever won was vs H2K in a show of shame
Y'all nerds think it's just a game
Until we attain fame
From just League-ing, tell me what why in the fuck ain't you believing?
Little gay H2K
So gay we could barely shake your hands after the game H2K
You're witnessing a massacre like you're seeing Turtle or Lustboy get benched H2K
Oy vey, H2-Gay
That's all they say H2K
Origen gets a thumbs up, a "xPeke" and a way to go from the LCS every day
Hey H2K, what you say H2K?
We went to five games with SKT, H2K!
We all worked for it
Never poached China for shit H2K
Get on my level H2K
Basically Hjar, you'll never be capable of playing on the same level H2K
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Cause I'm beginning to feel like a League God (League God)
All of Reddit from the front to the back nod (back nod)
The way we're shooting to the top, we're Team "Roccat" (Roccat)
Undefeated in the EU LCS, call us the EU Gods

(Yes I know there's another verse but it's really long)

B.o.B. - Magic
A CLG - Themed Parody
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq-NShfefks

I've got faith in CLG
Every week they seem to beat TIP and N M E
And if they lose we all just blame it on Xmithie
But there's nothing to fear, we'll always find victory!
Now everybody knows that we are golden
       .... golden, golden, g-g-g-golden, golden, golden, golden golden golden, yeahhhh
       ... it's CLG's Golden Age!

For all the people hating on our climb
Pick a team, any team, they beat 'em every time
We even beat C9, that game was kind of a crime
Bjergsen move aside, 'cause Pobelter's in his prime
They had Twitch chat babbling
Potential jokes unraveling
'Belter's AP Kog surprising and destroying and
Even Incarnati0n had to go and take some classes in
Winning lane, CLG GG EZ
What's happening?
So come one, come all, is Double here to stay?
ZionSpartan winning lane like it's easy, child's play
We know Pobelter is the Link that we were missing
And Aphromoo will land the hooks all day, no dismissing

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Still got faith in CLG
Even though we lost to Piglet and T I P
We have no early pressure, there's none from Xmithie
And four game losing streak, we can't find no victories
But even now I still believe we're
          .... golden, golden, golden, g-g-golden, golden golden, golden, golden, golden
          .... still CLG's Golden Age!

We'll take a journey back into time
It's been a while since DL's been in his prime
Stayed on that carry, but he's barely shown any progress
Yeah back at Worlds, with Krepo back on the analyst desk
Now, now, are they back? Or are we benching Xmithie and Pobelter like that?
Will Hotshot deceive us with jungle misconceptions?
Pobelter plays like Faker but sometimes is a money taker
Zion kicks it with his Gnar play but can't seem to play Hecarim
Be cautious 'cause when they play it could give us hypertension
DL breaks all the rules 'cause of all the auto spacing
Picks and bans are a mess 'cause Lulu mid is what they chasing
We just dropped from first place, to a 5-6th playoff placing
Now that all the salt is felt, who's the first that needs replacing?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No faith left in CLG
At this rate we're gonna lose to teams like GV
Zion's playing poor but we'll just blame Xmithie
Just no more Riot fines, we have just one victory
But still I think that we are in the
      .... golden, golden, golden, g-g-golden, golden golden, golden, golden, golden
      .... still CLG's Golden Age!

So in light of WildTurtle's recent benching, I think I've figured out how this might actually be a good thing for Team SoloMid. 

This is definitely not because I first picked him and XiaoWeiXiao this split in Fantasy LCS and was expecting him to do substantially better and get me far more points and generally crush the hopes and dreams of my fantasy enemies. Nor does it have anything to do with the pillars of salt that my hopes and dreams dissolved into when he got absolutely shit on by Doublelift in the first weeks of fantasy. No, this has absolutely nothing to do with Fantasy LCS. This is something else entirely.

WildTurtle is Illuminati. 

Now I'm sure you've all heard the jokes that "Napoleon is literally Hitler" or "Comcast is run by Nazis" or how apparently "jet fuel can't melt steel beams." I'm sure you think that I'm just joking when I say that anyone on TSM can be affiliated with such a vile organization such as the Illuminati. Hell, Reginald used to not allow players on social media because he was worried about the image of his brand or something. So it makes no sense that someone on TSM would be an Illuminatist. Right?

Wrong.

Let's take a closer look at the facts.
1) WildTurtle is an ADC player. You know who else is an ADC player? Doublelift. Doublelift is on CLG, which is notorious for having "potential." Potential you say? The formula for potential energy is GPE = mgh, where m = mass, g = gravity and h = height. Gravity? That's a LCS team! Who is on Gravity? Hauntzer, Move, Keane, Altec and Bunny Fu Fuu. Bunny is widely known as a Thresh god, and who got him this title? Hi im gosu, who is widely speculated to be a girl. Who is Gosu's trademark champion? Vayne - just like Piglet, who played on SKT T1 and won Season 3 Worlds. And which lane does Piglet play in? The bot lane. That's our first clue. B
2) WildTurtle is on Team SoloMid - the most popular League team in the world. SoloMid - which corresponds to the position! Who is TSM's midlaner - Bjergsen, who came to NA from Europe. Who else did this? Dexter - on CLG. When Dexter was on CLG, Seraph was on the team - a Korean who plays for TDK now. TDK - Team Dragon Knights. Who is a "dragon knight?" Shyvana, who has 7 letters in her name. The letter in the middle? A "v." And what is next to "v" in the alphabet? U. 
3) WildTurtle has won a LCS split title, making his team one of the four teams that has managed to acquire this incredibly coveted title. The other three teams being Fnatic, Alliance and Cloud 9. Disregarding Cloud 9 because EU > NA, the initials of these three teams spell out FAT. Now we all know that you can get fat by eating too much. Similarly, Gragas in League is considered to be a fat champion, and the newly announced champion - Tahm - has abilities that allow him to eat his allies and opponents. "Gragas" has two "g's" - as in "gg," or good game. Tahm most likely comes from potamos, the Greek word for river. Put "gg" and "river" together to get "gg river," which doesn't sound like much of a combination to be honest. However, if you replace the final "r" in "river" with an "n," you get "gg riven" - something that only a toxic player in League would say. Toxicity is a common trait among poison types in Pokemon - a Japanese game. Japan has a single sun on their flag, and since we've already discussed the "u" in the sun in the previous suggestion, and the "n" is obviously where the "n" in "gg riven" came from, that leaves the "s" as the next letter.
4) Lastly, WildTurtle is often known for his mispositioning and over-aggressiveness, often being referred to as "TSM's primary engage." Engage? The word contains two "e's" - like famous Dota player EternalEnvy - the captain of Cloud 9 Dota! Cloud 9 in League has 5 legendary players - Balls, Meteos, Hai, Sneaky and LemonNation. However, we can disregard Balls, Meteos and LemonNation because they're not carry players the same way WildTurtle is. That leaves only Sneaky and Hai as possible choices. Sneaky seems irrelevant because he's actually a good ADC in NA, as opposed to WildTurtle. That leaves Hai. Which letter does his name start with? H
5) Lastly, we take a look at WildTurtle's statistics this split to see if we can complete the code. According to this article (http://www.goldper10.com/article/1855-breaking-down-tsms-adc-problem.html), Turtle's KDA this split was 3.50, his damage % was 21.7% and his damage per minute was a measly 410. Now take a closer look at these numbers. 3 x 5 = 15, and 4 x 1 = 4. Now remove the ones from the equation, and we're left with "5" and "4." Add those together, and you get... 9. Now let's take a look at 21.7%. 2 + 1 + 7 = 10. Adding the one that we took away from 15 earlier... and we get 11. 

Isn't it obvious?

B U S H 9 11
BUSH DID 9/11. 
WAKE UP AMERICA. 

tl;dr bush did 9/11 and hitler owns comcast

LoL - Team Changes
A parody of a parody by ESEX who did the Dota version so I got bored enough to do the League version
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmK__ooAs-4&index=4&list=FLV4_i2Qh_grdXW_Ab1rCewQ - is the original, well not really it's the ESEX original, the original is Tupac - Changes
Each few lines refers to a certain player (I think) or a certain incident (I think)

I see team changes Wake up in the morning and I ask myself No chance at worlds, should I stream myself I'm tired of relegation or playing in CS Outta Europe looking forward for my team's progress Freeze don't give a damn about SK Hit the hook, flash and flay
Just not nRated's day Werly top with no bot Haha it's k, one less mid, just not your day Three weeks of summer don't reveal who's best Piglet's back, TL's first, who would have guessed It's time to fight back! That's what Korea said Fight EDG and now Korea's dead I got love for C9, but they could never win MSI With LemonNation and Hai They gotta start making changes Build a team full of carries and no real weak link That's not how it's supposed to be Kick Uzi outta Royal and he joined OMG I'd loved to go back to when we played S3 But things change, and that's just the way it is ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I see team changes Where's my familiar faces? Pobelter's free, let's see who he replaces Asunder, Counter Logic is the way to make this
A stable team with a lack of hate trains Take the money outta league and Samsung's acting right Cause both PawN and Deft are EDG tonight And the only time they play is before MSI Takes funds to survive, just to stay alive And TSM is NA's master race But they ain't ready, to see their top laner's face! 4 splits can't seem to conceal the fact Top lane is stacked And it's got Impact! But NA will never change Tryna gank another lane but mid's sitting in a farm game Now tell me what's support to do? Lust Cena ain't gonna try to carry you! We operate the China way, (We got Imp today) But you got him in the shady way Talking smack to his team, (It's only dade) Well, hey, that's just the way it is ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And still I see team changes Can the Chinese take a little rest? There's Koreans in the east and Koreans in the LCS Instead of team fights in LCK We see Spirit's play And World Elite's gradual decay! And Forg1ven's never picked a champ he ain't want to pick But now he's trapped with no staff tryna win real quick Don't let 'em take you down!
Gambit's down! Gambit's down! Take their crown!
Huni knows when to use TP They get jealous when they see him in the BOT But tell Fnatic they can't poach me H2K knows me And it's Season 5, not 3 That's the sound of their pleas
"Oddone join us please!" Nah bro, I don't wanna lose to Freeze And as long as UoL's here Kikis gon' stay here No meta, Jungle Gnar's here 'Cause I always gotta worry bout that one steal
PowerOfEvil who just made the smite unreal
Can't push out the mid Azir
Rat a tat tat tat that's the way it is....

Week 3 of LCS is nearly over, with only 5 games left to go. EU and NA standings are once again all screwed up, because no one has any idea what is going on right now. Looking at the standings right now, there are a few teams in EU that have very similar counterparts in NA. That being said, today I'm going to try to find a NA equivalent for every EU LCS team, because, well, why not?

I'm in the middle of watching NA LCS right now, so the standings for NA aren't exactly 10-0% up to date.

Team Dignitas (4-1) = Giants Gaming (4-2)
Seriously, where in the actual fuck did these teams come from? Both were fighting just to stay in the LCS last split, and now they're both looking like top teams in their region?! They have common factors - a new player (G0dfred and Helios), a strong mid laner with potential (Shiphtur and Pepperonis) and a somewhat underwhelming top/bot lane last split. You can try to say that Gamsu and Core were good last split and it's just hard to look good on a bad team, but it is my belief that they just straight up sucked last split. Moving on.

Team Liquid (4-1) = Fnatic (6-0)
I really really really didn't want to equate any NA team to Fnatic. No one team in NA has dominated every single one of their games the same way Febiven and Friends have. TSM seem lost against any team with a Kog'Maw, CLG can't beat TSM, TiP looks more inconsistent than Maknoon on Fusion, C9 has been playing with the collective IQ of a potato, who's left? Gravity? I honestly think that Liquid is as close to Fnatic as possible right now. Both teams have Korean imports, just in different positions. Both have one very solid solo laner (Febiven, Quas) and one other who can go off at any time (Huni, Fenix). Both have solid but underrated junglers. Both teams have potentially the best bot lane in their region. Big difference is that Liquid doesn't seem as "dominating" as Fnatic does. But give it time.

 Counter Logic Gaming (3-1) = Origen (5-1)
Origen, along with Fnatic and H2K, seem to be one of the three top teams in Europe. CLG, along with TSM and TL, seem to be one of the three top teams in North America. ZionSpartan is considered to be a solid top laner who will consistently perform. Soaz is considered to be a solid top laner who will consistently perform. Xmithie seems consistent on anything that doesn't begin with Sej and end with -uani. Amazing is much the same, except he can actually play Sejuani. Pobelter, like the rest of his teammates, is consistent and safe and all in all a good laner. xPeke, like the rest of his teammates, is consistent and safe and all in all a good laner. CLG's bot lane is considered one of the best in the region. Origen's bot lane is considered one of the best in the region. Big difference seems to be that CLG has potential to either do even better than they have now, or choke super hard. Origen, as far as I can tell, seems, well, consistent. For the record, I honestly do not believe that CLG, or any NA team, is really on the level of Fnatic, Origen or even H2K. They just seem to be, well, dominating their region, something that not many NA teams are doing right now.

Gravity (3-1) = Copenhagen Wolves (2-4) 
This physically hurt to write. Gravity, in my opinion, is really a much better team than Copenhagen Wolves. But they weren't on the level of H2K, they didn't have the chaotic playstyle of UoL, and putting them as Gambit or Roccat just felt insulting. And unlike Elements, they're actually winning. However, these teams do share a few similarities. They are both quite inconsistent - Gravity losing to NME Week 1, then defeating the undefeated Team Liquid in Week 2. CW going 2-0 Week 1 to then go 0-2 Week 2. They both have star ADCs and a midlaner who can carry pretty hard. That's where the similarities end. Hauntzer isn't a god, but he's certainly not at YoungBuck's level of trash. Move is unproven but seems to be doing well, which is more than could be said for Airwaks half the time. And BunnyFuFuu knows what he's doing in the bot lane, which is, again, more than what Unlimited can offer. These comparisons are really thin, aren't they?

Team SoloMid (3-2) = H2K (5-1) 
I'm willing to give TSM the benefit of the doubt here. I really don't think they're the same SoloMid that dominated the spring split. They felt tilted ever since MSI, where Huni locked in Cassio top and proceeded to embarrass NA's master race. Dyrus seems to be beyond his days, Santorin can't just keep ganking Bjergsen over and over again, and WildTurtle seems to play a little bit too much like Rekless' namesake. However, H2K isn't without their problems either. Loulex looked lost in the early game against SK in Week 3, and when Hjarnan/KaSing have an off day the entire team suffers (see game vs Origen). Honestly, this comparison feels like it's insulting H2K more like it's complimenting TSM, which speaks volumes to how weak NA is as a region right now.

Team Impulse (3-2) = UoL (3-3)
This is yet another comparison which feels insulting. However, both these teams are KNOWN for playing super balls to the walls no fucks given run at each other LPL style. Team Impulse are the premier NA early game team as they actually seem to be able to make aggressive early game moves off of Rush and Impact, something that I don't think any other NA team does. They play some things that seem to be a bit off meta, such as Yasuo top and Lee Sin jungle, but nothing to the level UoL does. Like TiP, UoL also plays incredibly aggressively but lack the pure mechanics that XWX and Impact bring to the table. They compensate for this by picking absolutely crazy stuff - Shaco and Gnar jungle, Poppy top lane, poke-god Varus mid, etc. Like TiP, they have two solo lane standouts, a popular play-making jungler and an average bot lane that can hold their own.

NME eSports (2-3) = ROCCAT (2-4)
NME are one of the two new teams in NA LCS, and so far, they aren't doing as badly as predicted. Similarly, Roccat was one of the three teams in relegations last split, but so far this split they aren't doing nearly as badly as I thought they would, even going as far as to take a game off of Origen. Both Flaresz and Steve are unproven, Flaresz because he was on a challenger team before this, Steve because he wasn't on any team before this. Both Innox and nukeduck are the "standouts" for their respective teams - Innox had been completely trashing his opponents in the Challenger scene, while nukeduck had been completely trashing his opponents back in Season 3. Jankos and Trashy both seem to be capable junglers that are a little bit out of their element - Jankos seems to be in a slump right now, to be honest. The "first blood king" hasn't been getting many first bloods as of late, unless you count feeding first bloods to the enemy in that statistic as well. Woolite has the positioning of a potato, the teamfight prowess of a potato, and frankly plays somewhat like a potato. His support VandeR plays like Madlife on a good day, but plays like a potato on bad days. Not similarly, Otter and Bodydrop play more like Apollo and Adrian from TiP - aggressive enough to not lose lane but safe enough to not get ganked. And when a safe lane plays vs a potato lane... well, I don't need to answer that.

Cloud 9 (1-4) = Gambit Gaming (2-4)
Looking at Cloud 9 on paper, you would think that they would once again be a top 2 team in North America. Looking at Cloud 9 in the actual LCS, you would think that they should be playing alongside other world's competitors like Dark Passage and Kabum eSports. They just do not look good at all this split. EU import Incarnati0n does not look comfortable at all on something that isn't an assassin, Meteos the 12.7 KDA king plays like Meteos the 1.27 KDA nerd. Balls hasn't been playing well on anything, really, that doesn't have the letters "R U M B L E" in it's name. Sneaky and Lemon's bot lane is the only thing doing well on a slumping C9 team, but now teams are just simply camping the bot lane to shut Sneaky down before they are capable of doing anything. Similarly, Gambit was projected to be a top team in EU this split, but that simply isn't the case. Cabochard is consistently inconsistent, while Diamondprox and Betsy look like NA imports with the level of trash they're playing at. Forg1ven should rename himself to Forg0tten because it seems like he's forgotten how to play League of Legends. GrillSu Pepper simply does not look like nor play like a top 5 support in EU anymore. But both teams have the POTENTIAL to be the very best in their region again, they just need to find it.

Team 8 (1-4) = Elements (1-5)
I didn't know trash was an element. No offense to T8 intended.

TDK (0-5) = SK Gaming (0-6) 
Every league needs to have legends and basement dwellers. Not every team can be Fnatic. TDK is not TSM. They do not play like TSM. They do not have the same mechanical skill as TSM. They do not have the early game plays of TSM, nor the late game rotations of TSM. They are not TSM. So we're not expecting great things out of this team. As long as they do slightly better than Coast last split, it's a success. SK is a whole different story. The number 1 team from last split already has twice as many losses this split, in only a third of the time. Freddy122 is more like Feedy122, Svenskeren seems like he's been tilting since PoE's Orianna Baron steal, Fox can't play League of Legends to the same level that his challenger peers could last split, and nRated should change his name to mRated because what enemy bot lanes have been doing to him is most likely illegal. Candypanda is the only one not sucking, but that's not much of a compliment.

tl;dr eu > na or na > eu? neither, eu = na

Ok, with NA and EU LCS starting up soon, I thought I might make a little list of who to watch out for in each region. Also, this beats studying.

Completely unrelated GIF here.

For each lane, I'm going to put who I think are the three standouts, and the "dark horse" to watch. I thought that would be a fun and easy way to organize players, but I'm very often wrong, so here goes nothing.

NA LCS
Top Lane
Impact - well he's the obvious standout in a region filled with mediocrity. Being a former world champion and all that, it's pretty easy to stand out when the second best top laner in the region is Quas. Rush and him are a pretty good duo, as in they pretty much consistently destroy the enemy top laner over and over again until he tilts and gives up on the game. Expect him + Rush to carry TiP (and my fantasy league) to many victories this split.
Quas - this guy is kind of like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. Sometimes he's playing like he just 1v2'd MaRin and Koro1 and came up on top, other times he makes Cris look like a world class top laner. If playoff Quas can show up and not I-just-got-my-ass-handed-to-me-by-Hauntzer Quas, then Liquid has a good chance at taking down the top teams in the NA LCS (by that I mean C9 and TSM).
ZionSpartan - the fact that Zion is the third best top laner in NA shows how small the NA talent pool is. Not saying he's a bad player, but... for a region that has aspirations to win worlds one day, NA should probably concentrate on getting better talent before we think about conquering the world. Zion's a good splitpusher, he's a mediocre teamfighter but then again, all of CLG is rather mediocre at teamfighting. He does his job on the team well, and that's good enough for CLG.
Player to watch out for: Seraph - he's the one Korean who's actually carrying on a team full of Koreans. Seraph essentially carried the crap out of TDK in the challenger series, and his insane splitpushing with some help from Alex Ich put them into the LCS. I don't think he's better than the top three top laners in the region at the moment, but he is potentially looking a hell of a lot better than he was on CLG last split.

Jungle
Meteos - in the NA LCS, there is a jungle hierarchy. Meteos and Rush are the kings and queens, Santorin and IWDominate are the servants, Xmithie is the guy who tries to lead a revolution against the monarchy but always falls short during the most critical of times, and everyone else is, as Doublelift would elegantly say, trash. Meteos and Rush just play... better than their counterparts. And since Meteos has had more experience in the LCS, he makes slightly less dumb plays than Rush does. Therefore he gets the number 1 place on my list (wow that's quite the accomplishment right?)
Rush - This guy plays League like its Call of Duty Domination. He plays one style and one style only - full balls to the wall rush at the enemy and kill them. It works on something like Shrek'Sai or Vi, but when you aggressively flash forwards to try to Nunu someone to death, it's not quite as successful. Seriously, put this guy on something that's not Nunu and he'll dominate the game. He's also #1 on the Korean SoloQ ladder and #1 on the NA SoloQ ladder, which has got to mean something.
Santorin - I'm pretty sure Santorin is secretly into cosplaying, because during MSI he must've been doing his best Invisible Woman impression. He was like Lust Cena - because you couldn't see him. He was pretty good during the regular season, above average during playoffs and somewhere in the negatives during MSI. Overall he's still a good jungler, and has got exactly what CLG likes - lots of potential.
Player to watch out for - Trashy: Remember how C9 dominated the challenger series then came out to eventually become the #1 team in NA? Or LemonDogs? Or even UoL and H2K in EU LCS (well not first... but 2nd and 3rd is still pretty good)? NME completely trashed everyone in the challenger series since they brought in Trashy and Innox. Trashy's damn good at jungling, slightly less so at name picking, but look for him to become a force to be reckoned with.

Mid Lane
Bjergsen - one bad MSI showing does not make him a bad mid laner. I think he's a little bit overrated, because when people were calling him the best mid in NA his stiffest competition came from the likes of Hai, XiaoWeiXiao and Link. One of which was basically a LCS level Zed one trick pony, another of which had no consistency whatsoever, and the last one who was more prone to choking than the Vancouver Canucks during playoffs. But he's still good, and he's got some more competition this year in the forms of a re-incarnated C9 mid laner and the scrim god himself in Fenix. But remember, he had a 10 CS lead on Faker at 10 mins... so therefore Bjergsen > Faker confirmed.
XiaoWeiXiao - watching this guy play is like watching a tractor on a farm - he's a farming machine. Sometimes he plays like he's the next incarnation of Faker, other times he plays like he doesn't know what a keyboard or a mouse is. When he goes off, he goes OFF, like that one game in the playoffs vs Gravity where he eventually went 12 - 0 - 1 on Zed. And I didn't even know that he played Zed! If Impact can ban Yasuo before XiaoWeiXiao picks it, he can become the second best midlaner in NA.
Incarnati0n - I know next to nothing about this guy except for that one cheesy "Incarnati0n - The Movie" video by dodgedlol. He's apparently a EU SoloQ god known for his assassin plays, his Froggen-like ability to DDoS his opponents, and his verbal abuse of said opponents. Hopefully his assassins show up and not the DDoSes.
Player to watch out for: Fenix - Team Liquid always says that Fenix is a scrim god. You could've paid me $50 and I wouldn't have thought that watching Team Liquid play during the regular season. But during the playoffs, Fenix rose from the ashes of their train-wreck of a regular season to his true form, where he completely dumpstered Link in the first round. His team would eventually get stopped in the semis by an amazing comeback by C9, but Fenix had proved himself. He was no longer trash (turns out I can get that distinction too by subbing to Doublelift on Twitch).

AD Carry
Sneaky - the undisputed king of NA ADCs. Can you think of anyone who is better than this guy in NA? WildTurtle resembles his oxymoron of a name - he plays too wildly sometimes and pays the price for it. Piglet seems to be the "other toxic Korean who doesn't show results." Apollo is the dictionary definition of average. Cop retired. Doublelift is, well, Doublelift. Nien is alright, but not really god tier. So, by process of elimination, Sneaky is the best NA ADC.
Piglet - Piglet isn't exactly like Impact - he's had his fair share of troubles in NA. At the start of the split, these problems were so intense that Liquid had to bench him. They benched Piglet for Keith, a 17 year old with an affinity for playing Jinx and the uncanny ability to spout dank memes. But during playoffs, Piglet (like most of Liquid) took off the ankle bracelets and proceeded to make Doublelift look like a Bronze V player who deserves challenjour gg. So depending on which Piglet shows up, he could either be the best ADC in NA, or the worst.
WildTurtle - meh he's alright. Unfortunately, Fnatic's Rekless took the most fitting name for him, because Turtle plays recklessly. Sometimes, he'll initiate fights that he has no business initiating and still somehow come up on top. He's not a world class ADC, but I honestly can't think of anyone better in NA, other than Piglet and Sneaky, and sometimes Doublelift.
Player to watch out for: Doublelift - didn't this guy used to be amazing in Season 2? I don't know, I didn't watch League in Season 2. But judging from Reddit comments (which admittedly isn't a very good source), it seems like Doublelift has only gotten worse since then, not better. I think that this split is his opportunity to prove that he is still a great player, and more than just a Worlds analyst.

Support
Lustboy - for a support that is very vision focused, it sure is weird that I can never see Lustboy on stage during the NA LCS. Personally, from a completely unbiased point of view that definitely is not a huge TSM fan, I feel like Lustboy is by far the best support in NA right now. He has impeccable vision control, knows how to lane well, is willing to sacrifice his KDA (and my fantasy points) in order to protect his ADC, and generally does everything a support player should do.
Xpecial - he just got a huge ADC upgrade. When Piglet and Xpecial (or Hamlet?) both get going, that is one heck of a scary lane. He was always a solid player to begin with, so when you pair him with Piglet, the other lane really has no chance. He's also been playing League since the Jurassic age, so with that comes a lot of experience. I don't really know what else to say here, but he's definitely a Top 2 support in NA. I think. Maybe.
Aphromoo - the bot lane in NA is weird this split. We've got an invisible player, a hamster, a nation of lemons, a bunny hooker, Adrian, and a mooing cow-like creature. Link said in his 17 page retirement rant that Aphromoo was being held back by Doublelift, which, if true, is just a little bit scary because the (inconsistently) godly Aphromoo we were seeing in the Spring split is not even his final form. He's definitely got the potential, now we have to see if the potential energy can be transformed into kinetic results.
Player to watch out for: Adrian - Keith's boyfriend looked really, well, average last split, but there were most certainly glimpses of brilliance from the TiP support. He looked really good on Leona, especially when paired with the Graves of Apollo. He looked pretty average on almost every other support champion, but he and Apollo did their jobs well in the bot lane - go even. This is his opportunity to prove that the TiP bot lane can do more than just go even - they can win.

Team Rankings:
1) TSM
2) TL
3) TIP/C9
4) C9/TIP
5) CLG/NME/T8
6) CLG/NME/T8
7) CLG/NME/T8
8) GV
9) TDK
10) DIG

Nobody reads this blog anyways so I'm safe.

The Fnatic joke is because Robespierre becomes more and more FANATICAL as the revolution progresses. Fnatic? Fanatic? Get it?